How To Become Irresistibly Attractive To Your ProspectsOn influence, non-attachment, and the freedom to chooseThe young girls had just discovered lipstick. When the bell rang at school, they would all meet in the girl’s bathroom to apply their latest colors before going to the next class.And, for fun, they’d kiss the mirror and leave imprints of their lips on the mirror. The teachers asked the girls to stop. Of course, the girls ignored them. The teachers threatened them with detention. The girls knew that they’d never figure out which one of them was doing it.The teachers sent notes home to the parents. The girls insisted that some of the other girls did it but not them.The principal said she had a solution. She asked the girls to meet her in the bathroom after class for a demonstration.”Girls,” she said, “the truth is that we don’t really mind you kissing the mirrors. I don’t know any woman today who wasn’t the same way when we were all girls learning about lipstick for the first time.”The girls all looked at each other and smiled. The principal went on.”But, at the same time, it’s a lot of work to clean lipstick off the mirrors every day, “She turned to the janitor and said, “Mike, would you please show the girls how hard it is to get lipstick off the mirror?”The janitor picked up his mop, walked to a bathroom stall, dipped the mop in the toilet water, squeezed off the excess water and washed the mirror.From that day forward, there was no more lipstick on the mirror.The principal’s solution is an example of two things:1. Non-Attachment2. Choice ArchitectureLet’s look at both terms and how you can apply them to your network marketing business….What Is Non-Attachment?The #1 way to repel a prospect is to care more about their involvement than they do.We’ve all seen the guy who’s so desperate for a date that no one wants to go out with him, right? Or the car salesman who’s practically slobbering all over you the moment that you walk onto the car lot?Or the saleslady who latches onto you the moment you step into the boutique and won’t let you look around?That’s called “attachment”. Neediness. Desperation. Emotionally invested.It’s a repelling factor. It makes people run the other way. It works the same way in network marketing.If your language and your posture says that you “need the sale”….your prospect will turn and bolt. If it’s clear to the prospect that you’re “waiting by the phone” or completely at their beck and call, you’re toast. If the prospect reaches out to you and always gets a reply within 3 microseconds or if they can get you to spend hours answering questions or talking to them….your attachment is showing.If it’s obvious that “getting them in the business” is a huge win for you, your prospect will start backing away from you like you’ve got the plague.Here’s where attachment comes from:1. Not having enough prospects2. Not believing in oneselfSimply put, if you knew that you had 100 people who were looking at your business today, would you necessarily care which ones got started today and which ones didn’t?Probably not. That’s the posture you need to have in your business. “But, Tony, shouldn’t I be enthusiastic about my business? Aren’t we told to be excited about what we’re doing?”Yes, absolutely.But there’s a difference in being excited and enthusiastic about your business……and being excited and enthusiastic about a particular person’s involvement in your business.Learn to practice non-attachment. You’re friendly. But you’re also busy.You’re in a hurry. Time is important. You’re in demand.You’ve got more prospects than time.You have no time for time-wasters and tire-kickers. You don’t mind spending time with people as long as they’re in forward motion. But the moment they reveal they can’t make a decision or aren’t serious, you’re done.This is not about being rude or arrogant.It’s about knowing who you are and having confidence.What other people do or don’t do is up to them.You’re not attached to the outcome. Your attitude is that you believe your business is the greatest choice someone can make for their quality of life. But, you also know that not everyone can see that. That’s fine.It doesn’t affect you either way.You’re not looking to convince and persuade people. You’re looking for people who already know what they want and who are just looking for a place to do it.Non-attachment is confidence.Non-attachment is attractive.Non-attachment is like catnip to people who want leadership.And success in network marketing is all about leadership.What Is Choice Architecture?In the story of the girls and the lipstick, the teachers were all making the same mistake.They were trying to force the girls to do something. That is, the teachers were “attached” to them taking a particular action.The principal’s solution was different. The principal gave them the freedom to choose.The principal’s attitude was, “Look, if you want to kiss the mirror….then kiss the mirror. If you don’t, then don’t. It really is up to you.”But the architecture of the choice was designed to lead them in a direction that was in their own best interest.Read that part again because I’m using that language deliberately. The ethics are important. This is not about “getting someone to do something”.I don’t convince.I don’t persuade.I don’t “overcome objections”.I don’t “try to get people in”.Instead, my role is to simply put all the information out on the table so they can make a relaxed, informed decision.My process is all about showing someone what the real costs/prizes are and letting them make the decision that’s in their own best interest.In other words, I’m not looking to convince people to play big in life.I’m looking for people who’ve already decided that they are GOING to play big in their lives…..and they’re just looking for a place to do it.Your prospects want to join a business.Your prospects want to make more money.Your prospects want more time freedom.Do they have to join your business?No. Not at all. But they need to know what the consequences are if they choose not to get started with you.Do your prospects want the next six months to look like the last six months?Do they really want to miss another opportunity to become wealthy?Do they really want to keep missing out on the benefits of working from home?Do they really want to join a business that won’t pay them what they’re worth?Those are all valid options for them. They’re not good but they’re valid.Or they can get started in your offer.Either way, you’re not “attached” to the outcome (which makes you attractive)…….and you’re not sacrificing their autonomy. They don’t feel that you’re trying to twist their arm and “get them to do something”.And that makes you attractive, too.Let prospects kiss the mirror if they want to. But make sure they know where the mop-water comes from.