I foreshadow how crummy it would be working

I remembered this one night vividly, where I couldn’t go to sleep. It’s was just another one of those nights. However, this was fairly common as I suffered from depression and insomnia for months now, ever since I self-diagnosed myself online.  I haven’t even attempted to go to sleep, because I knew I was helpless. It’s difficult to describe that abnormal feeling that goes through people’s minds. It was a Sunday, which was a day that I always dreaded, and the thought of having a test on the preceding day wounded my brain. I didn’t understood a bit of material Ms. Dietz, my 8th grade teacher, had taught me, but I knew there’s no point in getting worked up because I already know that I wouldn’t be able to do well on it. I couldn’t keep my word, I got butterflies in my stomach. I turned my head to look at the window, which fluorescentes the clock alarm, reading “11:30”. What was I going to do?I was barely passing a eighth grade course. I didn’t plan on flunking this class. Maybe if I had actually studied, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I know college is 4 years away, but it feels so close.”Frankly, I still had remembered what it was like in elementary School, where I was playing on the swing set, climbing the monkey bars. Time was going by too fast. I felt like it’s too late to make a change.What would make me stand out to a college? I wasn’t willing to put forth the effort of being accepted, and this was clearly distinctable. I knew that not a single college wants a kid that couldn’t even pass a simple course such as Earth Science. I thought about all the possible career paths that didn’t require a diploma. I foreshadow how crummy it would be working at a minimum-wage job. I needed someone desperately to help me decipher all my matters. This had me into thinking, “What would Oprah Whitney say?””Tommy, think long-term. Stay focused. Stay calm. Think positive.” I thought in my head as her voice echoed throughout my head.I imagined what it would be like up on stage with her. She would solve every teensy bit of problem that I had, from every specks of troubles, to the overwhelming anxiety that I had, I knew she would solve it all.She’s always my role model, someone I could look up to. I remember watching her on television when I was younger, and how I would see her daily, always at 2:30 PM, because there were only 3 channels. Even if I didn’t had the mental capacity of understanding her, I knew that she was the saviour at solving all problems. Look at the people she’s consulted with, the people that made some bad choices, and then the turning points they had in life. All of this was okay because that’s what makes us human. I had this enthusiastic mindset, where I thought to myself, “from the endorphins and sense of achievements here on out, I made a promise to myself that i’m going to change. There’s still room for improvement”, I thought.Coming back to now, you see successful people overcoming adversity through many points of their lives. Did you really think Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Benjamin Franklin all were successful all throughout their lives? They made mistakes, and more importantly, they learned and improved from them. Without me doing poorly in the course, I wouldn’t have improved and wouldn’t have that key factor in success. If I were to look now from the failures that I had in that class in the past, it was just another example of a situation of where I’ve grew stronger. It’s never too late to make a change, after all, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”