One of the main differences between introverts and extroverts is that extroverts get their energy from hanging out with other people, while introverts, aren’t mentally ill. Now, if you’re looking to get an introvert you can either adopt a baby one, known as a “Shylet”. Or rescue an adult from an introvert shelter, commonly referred to as a “Library”. When you get home, show your new introvert the location of the litter tray, the food bowl, and any windows it can jump out of in case the doorbell rings. A pair of introverts is called an “Awkward”, and a group of introverts is called an “Angst”. They’re generally never found together in the wild, except by accident. In which case they will apologize for making eye contact, nod politely, then run screaming in opposite directions. Contrary to popular belief, introverts don’t dislike human company, they just thoroughly despise it. Interaction with introverts can be problematic, a typical conversation might go as follows:Extrovert: “Hi.”Introvert: “Helloooo”Extrovert: “How’s it going?”Introvert: “Yes”Extrovert: “What?”Introvert: “Haha, how about that much anticipated sports match last night?” Extrovert: “What?”Introvert: “Stuff to do over here now. Better run.”Extrovert: “What?”Introvert: *Unidentifiable noises*Extrovert: “What?”Introversion itself probably results from a genetic mutation. In fact, introvert DNA is oriented in parallel lines. Mainly because the two chains are too embarrassed to twist around each other. This leads to an enlarged “Sorrybellum” and a malformed “Anxietal Lobe”. However, introverts make excellent fighting animals. They will level up from Occasional Reader, to Social Hermit, then with enough experience evolve into their final form, Professional EVE: Online Player. The introvert class comes with a low-maintenance cost, but extremely high embarrassment risk. They can use the “Retreat to Toilet” move against extroverts to recover HP. Or deploy the “Agreeable Conversation” defense block, but they’re totally useless against the “Direct Eye-Contact” attack. If you want to reward your introvert, why not treat it to a colorful toy, a tummy rub, or not ever forcing it to talk publicly about its emotions. Mistreating your introvert may cost you a visit from the “Antisocial Services”. So try to avoid belittling your introvert in front of its friends, manhandling the first editions of books, talking bad about Kurt Vonnegut, or insisting on calling instead of texting. Failure to follow these instructions may result in your introvert demonstrating extremely backhanded compliments such as, “except for all the wrong notes, that was a really great performance.” It may also end in a lack of polite sign-offs at the end of emails, or serving your tea/coffee only lukewarm. Like most humans, introverts do have romantic tendencies. Generally, the mating call goes something like, “sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but is someone sitting here? No? Ah…. Hmmm… Actually… I…I think I left the water on. Goodbye forever.” Directness can also be an issue. “How’s it going,” generally means “I find you very attractive.” The phrase, “Hope to see you again,” means, “I’m falling quite madly in love,” and, “I think about you occasionally,” translates to, “I would literally remove my ears with a rusty spoon just to see you with your socks off.” Dating an introvert can be quite an experience. A romantic evening might consist of the two of you having a glass of wine and reading a book together, only separated by being in different countries, and communicating in no way whatsoever. If you grow tired of your introvert, no need to pawn it off on a friend. Simply disconnect the Wi-Fi, or suggest that in might have offended someone slightly, and it will quietly run away in the night. Owners do sometimes come to resemble their pets. You yourself might be an introvert without realizing, if you find yourself mentally exhausted after hanging out with people, even those you like, enjoy eating or going to the movies alone, go to leave your apartment, notice your neighbor is out in the hallway then suddenly get convinced that you need to go back inside to do some “important stuff”, consider small talk the verbal equivalent of integral calculus, or use a ten-point grading system in your head for how the conversation is going so far…with the mailman. One being a “complete catastrophe” and ten being, “my God, maybe I’m a real person?” In any case though, if you’re looking for a pet that isn’t constantly defacing the furniture, or trying to murder you in your sleep, why not get an introvert? Not as good as dogs, but much less likely to pee everywhere.